what? where? when?

this is to bring you up to speed on where i am coming from, what i've been doing and when am i going to move on... maybe this sounds a little cryptic, oh well it's my blog!

so i'm coming from some place... that past scenario that sometimes keeps popping it's head up and messing up the moment. For my journey can be compared too a movie that came out some time ago. it's called 'Once Were Warriors', it's a film based on a novel about the Maori of New Zealand. let me warn you right off the bat, it's not a movie for the faint of heart! too me it's a reflection of my life growing up on an Indian reservation right here in North America, in a small place by the Ottawa River that we call Kanesatake. I was born into a community that resembles the film i'm speaking about simply because it's a common experience for indigenous peoples the world over. i'm not saying this to justify any side of any argument, but i simply want to let you know where i've been in my life and how or why it's affected me so. i hope you can make it through the film as it's deeply disturbing and filled with violence and profanity and many disturbing scenes... much like my childhood! so there you have the past.

for the present moment right now... i'm enjoying a peace and serenity inside myself that i never thought i would have... it's something i've been working on for quite sometime and boy does it feel good! like maybe ten years now i've been delving deep into my innards and ferreting out all the behaviors and beliefs that just don't suit me anymore. healing is an arduous journey that is soooooooo worth the effort. for me it's meant shedding a persona that never suited me, the rebellious angry, never ever weak Mohawk man who doesn't give a sh*t about anyone or anything but himself.

so now i bask in the warmth of the knowledge that i can fully and completely embrace the joyous, kind and generous person that i know is me... the real me... but life is what it is and sometimes we fall backwards and other times we fall forwards and we bounce around in between where we are and where we've come from or where we want to be.

on to the future! everyday i work at stepping out of the bounds of my comfort zone and motivate myself to be more creative and less worrisome and happier than i was yesterday... it's a process and i'm committed to it.

so from the little kid inside of me to all of you out there...

NEVER EVER GIVE UP! NEVER EVER SURRENDER! TWOO WUV is there for the making and in spite of my fears and occasional hesitations that is what i set my sights on. a future filled with the joy of helping others find a way back to their heart and soul and making the best of what life throws at us... so i bid you peace and send you lots of love because you are made of that shiny beautiful stuff

PS - to find out more about the film i'm talking about here is the Wikipedia link:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Once_Were_Warriors